


The Zoo

by captainflintsjacket



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Swearing, Zoo shenanigans, brief threat of drowning, secondhand embarassment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-05 05:02:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20483300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainflintsjacket/pseuds/captainflintsjacket
Summary: Your brother, Jim Kirk,  knows how infatuated you are with Leonard McCoy, so he invites you on a group outing to the zoo that doesn't quite go as planned.





	The Zoo

In theory, you really should’ve expected this. It was Jim after all. Why else would your brother invite you to go to the zoo with him and Bones knowing full well how hopelessly in love with Leonard you were. The only person you could blame was yourself, but that didn’t stop you from blaming Jim anyway.

“Pick up your goddamn comm,” you muttered as you called Jim for the third time in a row. After another two rings, he picked up.

“Morning sunshine,” he said. You could hear that smug grin through the phone.

“Don’t ‘morning sunshine’ me, J. You’re late.”

“Late to what, my dear sister?” He was teasing you. Typical.

You pinched the bridge of your nose, trying not to make a scene in front of Bones and his daughter. “You complete and total douche yacht. This was your plan all along wasn’t it?”

Jim laughed at your weak insult. “Douche yacht?”

“Yeah like a douche canoe but bigger.” You heard the comm drop as Jim laughed harder. “This isn’t funny Jim! What the hell am I supposed to do alone with Bones at the zoo?!”

Jim scrambled to pick up the phone before replying, still laughing, “As if you’ve been thinking about anything but what you’d do when you got Bones alone.”

“Well it’s not like I can just jump his bones in front of his daughter!! What the hell do I even do with a kid!”

“Y/N,” a small voice beside you said, “what does ‘jump his bones’ mean?”

You froze, and you heard Jim cackling louder than ever over the comm. “You’re a dead man, J,” you whispered before hanging up the phone. You took a breath to collect yourself before crouching to face Joanna. “Well, Jo, it means…It means I want your daddy to, uh…give me a piggy back ride is all.”

“Hm, okay!.” Joanna smiled and hugged your leg. You relaxed a little, glad something was at least going your way. Now, you just had to figure out how to swear her to secrecy.

You were devising a plan that involved a lot of ice cream, when Joanna bounded back to her father. “Daddy, daddy. Auntie Y/N said she wants a piggyback ride.” Oh God, you thought desperately.

Bones crouched down in front of his daughter, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “I don’t know, Jo. I think Y/N’s a little old for piggyback rides.”

Joanna shook her head, hair swinging in waves around her. “She said so, Daddy, she said so! She wants to jump your bones.” You were frozen mid-step, hoping to cut Joanna off before she could say anything. A few passersby turned to look at the three of you as Joanna’s voice carried. It felt like all the blood in your body got a one way ticket right to your cheeks. At this point, best case scenario for you was falling into the wolf pit and getting eaten. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at Bones, but out of the corner of your eye you could see him smirking.

“Well, Jo-bear, Y/N’s piggyback ride’ll have to wait, ‘cause this back is reserved for my princess today,” Bones said, ruffling Joanna’s hair. She giggled and swatted his hand away before he picked her up, carrying her on his hip. “Oh, and Jo.”

“Yes, Daddy,” she said, still working on straightening the bows in her hair.   
“Let’s not say, ‘jump your bones’ again, okay, sweetheart? Ain’t lady-like,” Bones directed the last part of the sentence to you, with a wink. Yeah, definitely time to throw yourself to the wolves.

With your embarrassment soon forgotten by all but you, the rest of the trip was pretty enjoyable. Once you got down to it, it was surprisingly easy to talk to Joanna. She kept asking you questions about Leonard and life on the Enterprise, the two things you were most passionate about. Right now, she was propped up on your shoulders, braiding your hair as you walked and talking about her own dreams to join Starfleet and become a medic like her dad. Bones couldn’t help but smile at the two of you.

He looked at his watch with a sigh, really not wanting the day to end: “Well, ladies. I think it’s time we hit the road.”

Joanna slumped over your head dramatically. “But daaaaddy, I haven’t finished braiding Y/N’s hair, and we haven’t even been to the reptile house. I wanna see the Filian pythons!”

Bones reached out for Joanna, pulling her off your back and setting her on the ground. He knelt in front of her, straightening out her jacket and smoothing her hair down. “I know, sugar, but the animals have to sleep too. You can finish braiding Y/N’s hair in the car, okay, pumpkin? Don’t you have your spare bows in there?”

“Plus, I think there might be a Filian python in the gift shop with your name on it,” you said, dropping to Joanna’s level and throwing her a wink. She immediately brightened, throwing her arms around your neck and knocking you backwards.

You barely managed to catch your balance before Jo was tugging on your and Leonard’s hands, pulling you towards the gift shop. “Come on, come on! Why are grown up so slow?” She stopped for a moment, staring at the two of you in horror. “Am I gonna be that slow when I grow up?” You and Leonard laughed.

“You can run on ahead,” Leonard replied, “just stay close, and be careful.”

“Thanks, daddy,” Joanna said, hugging Leonard’s leg. “Will you guard this for me Auntie Y/N?” Jo handed you her backpack, not giving you time to answer before skipping off ahead.

“So,” Bones started, still staring straight ahead at his daughter, “‘bout earlier.”

“Hm,” you hummed, eyes still trained on Joanna. You shifted her backpack higher onto your shoulder. Leonard took your hand in his, gently tugging you to a stop. Your breath caught, eyes dropping first to your hands entwined and then looking to his face. The smug bastard had that eyebrow raised again and you were sure you’d melt on the spot.

“You really gonna pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about?” Leonard ran his hand up from yours to your elbow, pulling you closer to him. His other hand brushed your cheek, and then back into your hair, running his fingers over the braid Joanna had put in. 

“I dunno. I don’t think my brain’s getting enough oxygen right now. Maybe I need a little mouth-to-mouth to kickstart my memory.”

Bones laughed. “I hope you know more about xenolinguistics than you do about medicine, or our ship’s doomed.”

“Oh, trust me. I’m very skilled with my tongue.” You slipped a hand around the back of Leonard’s neck, pulling him towards you. You could smell his cologne already and the thought of his stubble brushing against your cheeks was making you a little lightheaded. Your lips brushed together, and you were expecting fireworks. There was a scream instead.

You whipped your head to the right, eyes immediately going for Joanna. You heard a splash of water and before your brain processed what happened you were already sprinting to the pond. You pulled the backpack off as you went, dropping it by the side of the pond before tumbling in arms first, not wanting to hit Joanna. You reached blindly, hitting a koi fish before grasping the front of Joanna’s jacket. You quickly stood, hoisting Jo over your head and putting her on the rocks at the edge of the pond. She was soaked but seemed to be in otherwise good condition.

Leonard was there in a heartbeat, fussing over her. He insisted on pulling out the tricorder he’d put in Joanna’s backpack and scanning the both of you twice. When the scans came up clear, he pulled both of you against his chest, kissing the tops of your heads. He hoisted Jo up, cradling her in his arms, trying to calm himself down more than her.

“Uh, Bones,” you said, still lying on your back at the edge of the pond, “I appreciate your concern and all but maybe we could go? I’m kind of freezing here.” A small breeze hit you, making a shiver run through your body as if on cue.

“Jesus, yes, of course. I’m so sorry.” Bones reached his free hand towards you, pulling you up against his chest. He held you there for a second, pressing another kiss to the top of your head. “Thank you,” he mumbled. Joanna giggled.

“Daddy likes Y/N!” She gasped as a thought struck her. “Does that mean Y/N’s gonna be my mommy too?”

“It’d be an honor to be such a beautiful little girl’s mommy,” you said, reaching out to Jo. She jumped from Leonard’s arms to yours, but you caught her easily. “I think that’s a decision your daddy and I are going to have to make later, though, okay, sweetie?”

“Yeah, okay. I forgot grown ups are slow.” You chuckled again as Joanna snuggled up against your shoulder. She was asleep by the time you reached the car, so you carefully climbed into the backseat, not wanting to wake her. Bones chanced a glance at the two of you before pulling out of the parking lot, only to find you curled around Joanna, the two of you sleeping soundly. The smile didn’t leave his lips the whole ride home.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr @trade-baby-blues 
> 
> This is loosely based on a true story from my own childhood. When I was like…10? Maybe? We went to the zoo in Nebraska and they have this koi pond near the entrance. My 3 year old cousin wasn’t paying attention and just ran straight into it, but! We got him out and he was fine.


End file.
